Seize the “Mom”ent! If I could turn back time I would walk beside my mother instead of in front of her. If I would have only known at the time what a priceless walk that would have been, I would have stopped the world for her and spent those precious moments of endless knowledge and endearment beside her.
I was a fast walker by nature; my mother was a slow walker due to nature. At the time, I only recognized my pace unless I was turning around saying “hurry up mom”. I had a small child, full-time job, and a husband and thought that was a challenge. Life was all about the get up and go, race here and there, but little did I know it was only preparation for what was to come. If I had only walked beside her, I might have learned how to deal with life in a more lighthearted way.
We would go on a simple trip to the grocery store. I would get out of the car, get my daughter from her car seat, and be on my way to the store door and my mother hadn’t even shut her car door. She would trail behind with no worries or complaints, unlike me hurrying her to no end. She was always there when I needed her, right beside me. Maybe she needed me and I didn’t know it at the time.
A need that became clear to me as I lay on the bed next to my mom the night before she passed away. She had been battling pancreatic cancer, not once complaining. She always made sure I was ok and never asked for anything throughout her battle except for me to stop and spend time with her that evening. I did, I climbed up next to her like a small child anxiously waiting to hear the adventures in a story that was about to be read, not knowing the next day would be the last time I would ever speak to her again. That evening was the best time of my life! We spent time together, time unchained from the world. Like a giggly sleepover laughing at nothing, without a care in the world. I obtained answers to questions I didn’t even know I had, experiencing her deep knowledge and endless Witt and getting to know the person I left behind. The person that carried me in her heart as heavy as that could be sometimes, she never gave up on me.
I am my mother now! My daughter is grown with a child at the same age I was when I had her. When we go to stores, Chelsea is always saying “hurry up mom” and I have stopped in my tracks realizing in a moments time, exactly what my mother’s feelings must have been. Always trying my best to please my daughter, of course not without some verbal notification by me unlike my mother, she never complained. At times it is hurtful, sometimes it is funny, and most times it is missed communication and valuable knowledge and humor that would help my daughter if she would only slow down with me. It takes me back to how aggravated I would get with my mother, sometimes contemplating if I should even take her with me. Of course, I did love her and wanted to spend time with her but little did I know or realize what or how to actually be in that time, in that moment with her. Be there to actually feel her presence, not just see her as a burden on my time.
I am walking in my mother’s shoes now, behind my daughter. Trying to teach her what I missed. I realize the cradle a mother has for her child in her heart. Reflecting with her about her grandmother, laughing lots but also realizing together how precious a mother’s time with you is for your soul. The coping mechanisms you learn from a mother and unconditional acts of love are something so priceless.
Precious moments can be missed in the blink of an eye. A day can make all the difference. Slow down; get to know your mother. Walk beside your mother, not in front of her. Seize the “Mom”ent!
Remember, keep on keepin' on and Just Be You!
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